December 2009
43 posts
I'll hold you until the hurt is gone.
I pray that some of my friends stop hurting. That’s all I can do.
You’ve got to live every single day, because tomorrow may not come.
So instead of arguing, fighting, and bickering with you about something so stupid. I’m going to tell you I love you everyday. I give hugs to my friends because today could be their last day on earth, or it could be my last day. I...
I used to know you so well.
I knew you, the past from of you. I want to know more about the new you. Is that okay with you?
I love you.
Te amo.
Ek is lief vir jou.
Unë të dua
أنا أحبك
Я цябе люблю
Обичам те
T’estimo
我爱你
我愛你
Volim te
Miluji tě
Jeg elsker dig
Ik hou van jou
Ma armastan sind
Mahal kita
Minä rakastan sinua
Je t’aime
Eu te amo
Ich liebe dich
Σε αγαπώ
אני אוהב אותך
मैं आपसे...
My brother is worried and I know it.
Johnathon: I have a bad feeling.
Me: What feeling?
Johnathon: I think Justin is going to do something stupid.
Me: When doesn't he do something stupid?
Johnathon: Good point.
I'm going to love you,
forever and ever, Amen.
I will love everyone forever. Everyone who has touched my heart. Everyone who has been there when I was the weakest. Everyone who has been here, but walked out. Everyone who will be coming in the future. Everyone in the past. Everyone now. Everyone.
You may think that I’m talking foolish. I’m not. I will love everyone. Even though, Love is a word...
I will not judge you,
and you will not judge me. We all get judged in the end.
We shouldn’t judge anybody, and nobody should judge us. Too bad people do not see eye to eye. I do deserve not to be judge if I do not judge you. I mean, it’s only fair don’t you think?
Trust, love, believe and worship God.
I was watching Gordon Ramsey's cooking show live.
LeAnn Rimes was on it. I love her. She’s so cool. And I love her music. “I Need You”
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0dVmjuCZ60Y
I love how Facebook has a "Message from God"...
On this day of your life, Kristen, we believe God wants you to know … that every day you are choosing either to be grateful or to be disappointed. You can worry to no end about what you don’t have. Or you can marvel at God’s breathtaking gifts: the morning dew, the sun, the clouds, the trees, the flowers, the birds. Could you create any of these? These miracles of life are...
Jesus, you are the way
Me: Te amo, Jordania Bell. Lo siento de verdad por cada lucha que hemos estado adentro me voy a dejar. Con la ayuda de Dios, sé que voy a conseguir a través de él. Gracias, Jordania, por ser tú.
Jordan: Ne me quitte pas, Kristen Boyd. Nous avons vécu trop pour nous pour ne citer que toi maintenant. Je t'aime. Let's Stay meilleur ami pour toujours, comme nous l'avons prévu dès le début.
Me: Ok I only know spanish. That looks like french
Jordan: xD yup.
Me: hold on then
3 minutes later
Me: Do not leave me, Kristen Boyd. We have lived too much for us to mention that now. I love you. Let's Stay best friend forever, as we intended from the beginning.
Jordan: mhm
"mention leaving* now" clearing that up
Me: I'm not leaving as long as you don't leave me. :)
Jordan: deal.
Kristen, you're so stupid.
Oh wow, I’m talking to myself. I’ve never done that before.
You know, it’s so fun to act like you know how to play the snares. I have Rock Band drum sticks, and I’m trying to play one of our stand tune songs with the drum sticks.
Yup, it’s true, I’ve lost my mind. I have now gone insane. Do you care to joy me?
Tear drops fall down like rain.
One thing I said was uncalled for. I said it out of anger. Jealousy. Hurt. Either way, I said it and I should not have. Now, I’m beating myself up. Can this day get any worse? Considering how there’s only 50 minutes left in this day I don’t think it will.
I tell people when they’re lost that everything will get better. Now, it’s time for me to take my own...
I'm trying
to keep from going into tears. I don’t want my family knowing there’s something wrong. Last thing I want is for them to worry about me. They’re better off not knowing how I feel about all this. I’m stressed out and I don’t need to be. I don’t like getting hurt by people who are supposed to be my friend. It makes matters worse.
Things aren't turning out the way they should.
It’s killing me inside, and no one will know.
My dad is yelling at everyone in my house except Amber because she’s the youngest. My holliday is ruined. My best friend hates talking to me. I ask for a simple freakin’ prayer and I get freakin’ yelled at. I’m trying to stay strong for friends that are hurting. I’m pushing my pain aside to help those who...
I lost the game.
Haha, I love that, but what I love more is God, my friends, and my family. I really would be lost without them.
By the way, Jordan, you don’t need to be sorry. Just be happy. That’s all that I want from you. You’re not fat. You’re beautiful the way you are. Nothing is ugly. Everything has it’s beauty.
Nobody's perfect.
Me: Ugh, I hate losing.
Her: Practice makes perfect.
Me: But nobody is perfect.
Dreams,
are so great to have. I love dreaming, but I’ve had a lot of sad dreams.
December 26, I had a dream.
What I remember is the setting was in Vancleave when I lived in a 3 story house. I was playing with the dog, Blue, inside the house. All of a sudden I see this plane fall from the sky in flames. I run outside and I see people from St. Martin and Ocean Springs that I know. I was...
Christmas 09,
sort of felt like another day.
Christmas isn’t supposed to feel like a normal day but it did.
Christmas morning was great. Woke up and got to open presents. I got make up, hair stuff, lip balm, body stuff, a painting set, stuffed animals, Twilight poster and cd, and a gift card. I got other stuff, but I’m not going to kept listing off things.
After we unwrapped everything, we...
I'm running out of time.
I’m running around in circles. Not right now, because obviously I’m typing. That would be hard to type and run around in circles.
Guess what.
These little Wheat Crackers are really good. 150 calories per serving.
Anyways, ok so Chaz said he didn’t kiss Sara on the lips. He kissed her on the cheek. He also admits to talking dirty with someone. However, that was at the...
I don't think I've ever had a good Christmas.
And I’m not going to have a good one this year.
My dad is ruining my family. :( He doesn’t like my grandparents over for Christmas or Thanksgiving. So, we go spend Christmas Eve with them, and he still doesn’t like it. Nothing we do makes him happy. I hatebeing the only kid that knows what’s going on. Johnathon and Amber don’t know a thing. My mom keeps...
You lied,
when you told me you’d never lie.
Ok so I found out that Chaz cheated on me. I love knowing a lot of people in St. Martin. Sara used to be my friend in 4th or 5th grade. That and I think her mom or it’s her grandma works at Wal-Mart with my grandma.
10:32 PM♫§ara: Okay, So I Have To Tell You Something, ……………………………………………………………………10:32 PMKristen: Yes?...
We had joy, we had fun, we had seasons in the sun.
I wish everyday was like that. Everything comes to an end. Good or bad. Everything comes to an end at one point. That’s life for you.
You hear about friendships dying. You hear about love dying. You hear about a love one dying. Your dying everyday. It’s how you deal with it. You could look at the positive or you could look at the negative. Your choice. What are you going...
What will it take?
I mean really. I try so hard to talk to my best friend. All I’ve been getting is a couple of sentences and “offline.” What the heck? How come everyone else can keep a conversation going with her, but it’s so hard for me to get a couple of sentences?
Am I trying to hard? What am I doing wrong? Unfortunately, it’s not just this one friend. It’s been with a...
I was just hurt.
I realize I do say some pretty harsh things when I’m hurt. I’ve been asking for forgiveness.
Kristen
I’m sorry.
6:44pmChaz
why?
6:45pmKristen
Cuz, I remember yelling at you over the computer out of hurt. I said some pretty harsh stuff. I didn’t mean any of it……… I was just hurt. Please know I am sorry.
6:46pmChaz
I understand. I was never mad at you for...
Woke up to the sound of pooring rain.
Me: How would you feel if I told you I still loved you?
Chaz: How would I feel? I'd feel like I still love you too. :)
Me: Ok well I still love you, and I can't seem to get you out of my head.
Chaz: I feel the same way
I tried to kill my pain,
but I only bleed more.
I can’t seem to get over him. I guess when you really care about someone you just don’t let go so easily. No, I’m not going to get all suicidallylike I did last year. What the hell was I thinking last year? Don’t answer that. I’m not going to do anything stupid, unneeded, or reckless. That’s not me now.
The me now is going to...
I can't do it.
I thought I could handle not being with Chaz anymore, but the truth is I’m lying to everybody.
Random person- “Are you ok?”
Me- “I’m fine.”
I’m freaking lying to EVERYBODY. Even him. He wants a second chance. I believe everyone deserves a second chance. Do I want to be hurt again? No, of course not. I really and truely do love him. Do I love him...
It does go to show that all good things come to an...
I was having a great fucking day. I don’t have to take any exams, and I got to goof off in every class. I come home I’m so happy. I get my hot chocolate get on the computer. Goof off some more then I go to Taco Bell. I get done eating. I go back on the computer to get a message from my boyfriend.
Chaz Roberts December 15 at 6:24pm Please don’t hate me baby; I love you,...
You're not sorry,
and that’s ok. You don’t need to say you’re sorry to me. I don’t want to be hurt, and I don’t want you to be hurt. You don’t need me. You need God. I don’t need you. I need God. If no one on this earth will be there for me, God will be. He always will be there for me. He’ll always be there for you. You just have to let him in. Don’t...
“Jesus, can you show me just how far the east is from the west?”
– East to West By: Casting Crowns
Looking through a dirty glass window,
and wondering what the world has in store for me.
I’m going to go over to Christine’s. We’re going to walk the neighborhood. I’m glad I’ll get to see her today. She hasn’t seen my hair cut in person. That would be cool to show her.
We can talk about anything when we’re together. I love having her as a friend. :)
2hours, 46minutes, and 27seconds.
I love talking to Christine on the phone. We just had awesome conversations. We talked about God, the Bible, best friends, boyfriends, guys, judging people, people, Jesus, cursing, and just a whole bunch of things. Then toward the end of our conversation I started to sing, Lol with a Smiley Face. :) It was great. It was one of those heart-to-heart type conversations.
Have you ever had...
I must be livin' in a fanasy world.
Not really, I just love that song. You know, I absolutely love Brittany, Mary, and Sunny. Those girls are a blessing to me. I’m so glad I’ve friends with them.
My life isn't that bad.
It really isn’t. I’ve had great days since Sunday, December 6, 2009. I’ve prayed for forgiveness ever since. I told Brittany Lowery that and she just wanted to go into tears. Mary went into tears and Sunny was smiling from ear to ear. I’m in the family now. The family of Christ. And it’s the best feeling I’ve ever had in my life. Brittany said,...
Why?
Why have I had 4 great days in a row? Is it because I’m saved? Or is it because everyday just has been great? I don’t know, but Sunny’s face today just made me want to cry. She found out that I was saved by Mary, and Sunny was just so happy. She was smiling from ear to ear. I see why Brittany calls her Smiles. :)
Sunny just has one of those beautiful smiles. She’s...
December 8-9: Wish that yesterday,
had been great like yesterday. Yesterday, my friends made me feel so loved yesterday. Today, my boyfriend made me feel so alive, but people kept bring me down. This one immature kid in my second block said, “I hope you f___ing die!” All I did was ask him to be quiet because I couldn’t hear the movie, Up. My best friend, Josh, wants to strangle him for saying that. I love...
She's my best friend,
And no matter what I still want to always be there for her, even when she doesn’t need me anymore. She’s my best friend. Then again I think the truth is I need her.
Okay, so, last night I was in tears because I prayed and prayed that our friendship would still stay strong like it used to be. That’s not the only thing I prayed about. I prayed for forgiveness, and other...
I'll walk.
I remember being a little kid. I was always trying to walk before I started to crawl. Now, I’m 15 all I do is walk, walk, walk. I wish I could crawl, but then people would get weirded out. So, I’ll just keep walking.
Some people are so,
immature, heartless, and insensitive. I was in band today and there were two guys making fun of cancer. Okay, that just about ticked me off.
Guy 1- “Knock knock”
Guy 2- “Who’s there”
Guy 1- “You have cancer!”
That is so not funny. I don’t care if it was a joke or not. That really disappointed me. There are people that have/are dying from...
And so I've come to realize that,
I can’t help people if I can’t help myself first. I’m taking a break from helping people. The truth is I need help. And so I say, “God, I beg for forgiveness. I’m sorry for all of my sin.” I’m willing to change myself for the better. It will be extremely hard, but in the end it’s worth it. Do you understand what I’m saying?
“Bessed be the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of mercies and...”
– The God of Comfort- 2 Corinthians 1: 3-4